Spendings and Signs.

3

Written on 5/23/2009 05:23:00 PM by Jasper12.01u

4:35 PM 5/23/2009


Earlier this morning my mom raided my wallet for a monthly financial audit.

We were shocked. Literally SHOCKED!!!

I had spent both of my savings account to almost 1% of its original amount the beginning of the month. Literally.

Man, I am SO DEAD!!!

But looking back I did make a lot of purchases using the cards.

I used it on outfits, to buy cellphone credits, to buy books, to eat, to take out cash to put in my wallet, etc etc.

Man I am such a spender!!!

And looking back to my blog posts or my tweets or my fb status updates, I shoulda seen it coming.
It was so often that I tweeted/wrote that I splurged on this and that.
Why can't I hold myself back??!!!

*sigh*

I feel so bad for my parents.

What am I gonna do?

Today and yesterday alone I went crazy and had 4 major purchases.



This is really getting out of control.

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On a happier note, today after we (the family that is) had gone to UI so that I could borrow some books for finals, we went to Farra's cram school to pick her up.

We then performed salat at a nearby mosque where my dad's shoes were stolen so we went and bought him new ones at a nearby shopping center.
I had had a bad feeling about this--leaving the shoes unattended. But we prayed there times before and it was alright.
We were SO wrong.

It was just plain ridiculous that someone could perform such unseemly things at such a holy place.

Anyways, we went to Pondok Indah Mall afterwards to have lunch at Tokigawa Resto where the food ain't that good I'm telling you,







and then we went shopping.

This is when I lost control again.

Damn it.

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GOALS FOR SELF:

Be a betterBe a GOOD financial planner

1. Save money
Put a minimum of Rp3.000,- in piggy bank EVERY day.

2. Restrain from spending more than Rp100.000,- a month

Not included transportation costs to and from Depok/Thamrin but includes everything else otherwise.

3. STICK TO GOALS
With the Name of THE MOST GRACIOUS, THE MOST MERCIFUL. Ya ALLAH please give me strength to not follow my lust or gluttony after pretty, shiny things. Amin yaa ROBBal aalamiin.

5:19 PM 5/23/2009

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5:24 PM 5/23/2009

Oh yea before I forgot. We (my mom, my sisters and I) found this sign at this gas station in BSD when we were on our way to the airport to pick up my dad on Thursday.

LOL.

Under the No Smoking sign were a list of cigarette prices.
And yes they sell cigarettes at the gas station.

Of all the irony.

5:25 PM 5/23/2009

And I now repent.

2

Written on 2/28/2009 08:24:00 PM by Jasper12.01u

7:26 PM 2/28/2009

I'm at my lowest point.
I'm the eldest daughter of three and yet I act like I'm the youngest.
I can't set a good example for my sisters, my parents are fed up with me and my "lack of decency", and truth be told even I am fed up with myself.

And there's another thing between me and GOD.
Lately I haven't been a very obedient servant.
I acted like a saint in front of my friends and yet never once did I pray or even remember GOD.

I am a hypocrite.
And GOD hates hypocrites most of all.

My dad is especially mad at me because I always miss prayers together at the house. Little did he know that it's been months now since I prayed, or that I never once stepped in a mosque or do any prayers when I'm away from home.
I just finished reading the Holy Book together with my family just now.
A ritual always performed after the Maghrib salat together.
I read well. Exceptionally well, in my opinion.
And yet I felt empty.
I read the arabics out of familiarity with the alphabets and not out of faith or of heart.

I felt so sad.
I felt so low.

I want to get close to GOD again.
I want to get drunk in GOD'S LOVE.
I want to quit being a hypocrite and practice what I preach.
I want to love GOD like HE loves me.

My prayer:
With the name of the MOST GRACIOUS, MOST MERCIFUL.
Dear GOD I love YOU,
and I am sorry to have taken YOU for granted.
I have strayed from the Path and now I am trying to get back on track.
Please GOD teach me how to love YOU.
Please GOD teach me how to love myself.
I am a sinner and I now repent.
YOU are THE MOST MERCIFUL, and I now ask for your forgiveness.
I love YOU, GOD. Teach me how to love YOU.
Amen.