Written on 3/13/2009 11:01:00 AM by Jasper12.01u

8:13 AM 3/13/2009
It felt funny waking up today
finding myself not being his anymore.
He asked to meet this morning.
He has a morning class and so do I.
I said yes, though I don't know why.
I can't imagine what it would feel like,
seeing him in the streets or on campus corridors.
Passing him by in the cafeteria.
Should I smile? Should I wave?

We talked on the phone last night.
I felt awkward.
I didn't know how he felt.
Did he feel awkward too?

I deliberately went to school late today so that maybe it'd be too late to meet.
But there was no phone calls from him.
My heart sunk a little.
And I went to school wondering
what happened.

Today all the songs on the radio
and all the music videos on TV
played love songs,
songs of the broken hearted.
Maybe this is selective listening.
People hear what they want to hear.
And realization hits me in the face again,
again and again and again
that I'm not his anymore
nor is he mine.

But yesterday
after I cried my eyes out
and they were red and swollen and puffy,
my heart lifted a little,
though the world seems no better than it was,
the birds still sing and the sun still shines
and the world doesn't seem so bad.

I felt a little scared
of what may come
now that there's no us anymore.
But the world goes on still
as does my life
and as I'm writing this
he's maybe moving on little by little
or maybe even with giant steps.

I have to move on too.
8:27 AM 3/13/2009

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